2008-11(Nov)-30 Russian Wedding Reception

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The wedding reception was very nice. We first checked our coats – this is common practice where ever you go in the winter – the shopping mall, schools, museums, restaurants. Only tourists tip the coat check attendants. Tipping is an interesting situation – you must be careful not to insult as some services are part of a job well done, not an extra service. That is another story. Next we waited in the foyer for the bridal party. Since we (those on the bus) arrived at the same time as the limo I expected a short wait but after 20 minutes, figured they were finishing their champagne or something. We were given a glass of wine while we waited. The reception director (or perhaps mistress of ceremony) told us what to do, where to stand, when to cheer – all in Russian with a new interpreter to explain to the expats. We cheered as they entered the restaurant. Then Olga's parents presented Olga and Ray with a very decorative loaf of bread which had a portion of it hollowed out to hold salt. Then they each broke off a piece of the bread as in a contest to see who would get the largest portion. Salt went everywhere, everyone cheered and Olga got the biggest portion of the loaf. This means that she will be the boss of the family. We don't remember what the salt meant.

Next the witnesses made an arch for the newlyweds to enter into the reception hall. Since everything was contained in a compact space, they actually processed around the area one complete time and then went into the dining room. I guess in larger venues, the procession into the dinner hall takes longer. But music played, people clapped and we all followed to take our places at dinner. Each place was set very formally (see the pictures), there were lovely flowers decorating the tables and the rest of the space on the table was filled with traditional antipastos, salads, etc. There were plates of sausages (like summer sausage we get from Wisconsin); traditional Russian winter salads made from potatoes and canned or preserved vegetables with mayonnaise (the ones I had here at other places were very good); red caviar on toast-like crackers; pickled or smoked fishes including herring; fresh vegetables – tomatoes, cucumbers, sweet peppers with a few lettuces; all kinds of pickles and olives; and other dishes I cannot remember. I was full just sampling all the choices. There was also water, fruit punch and kvass (a traditional non-alcohol drink made kind of like beer. I have not met an American or Canadian who likes it!), plus baskets of bread. Meanwhile, champagne was served (a very traditional European start to a meal). Next we were served our choice of wines. John and I laughed out loud when we saw that they served Yellow Tail wines. We were not at all trying to make fun but first of all, they are expensive in Russia, and secondly we have enjoyed many other wines in Russia (I must admit, most of the reds have been from Chile, not Europe, but still they are much better than Yellow Tail and cheaper!). Perhaps they were trying to make us feel at home since we can buy Yellow Tail at World Market, Target and sometimes Wal-Mart. Once everyone had wine, very cold vodka was poured into the 'shot' glasses at each of our places.

Throughout the meal, the mistress of ceremony sang songs, told stories, asked questions of the participants and the sweet young girl tried to translate. However, we got the gist of the comments – how lucky Ray was to have a lovely bride, the family was thrilled to have such a good provider for their daughter, life would be filled with happiness and children…all predictable sentiments for a wedding anywhere. Every few minutes there was a toast – we drank whatever beverage we wanted. However, the tradition in Russia is that if you are toasting a lady, it is rude to drink only a sip of the vodka. So the whole shot was downed. I had two. Enough. We had speeches/toasts from the witnesses, the parents, the grandparents, the 'second' mama (remember they don't have Godparents) and most of the guys in the office. There was lots of laughing, although I must admit, Olga seemed a bit overwhelmed. I suspect Ray planned most of the reception, however I understand the father did buy the wines and vodka. We took a break for the first dance – really just like what we do in the US. We danced a while and then returned to our seats. They do have a tradition to pass the tray for the bride and groom to see who gets the most money (almost like pinning dollars on the bride's veil as is done at some ethnic weddings). We also had a visit from "Peter the Great" with some proclamation about the wedding. I really didn't get that but the Russians seemed to enjoy his visit. I don't have a picture of him but he really did look like the pictures of Peter in the museums. We 'played' instruments along with the mistress of ceremonies; she played the keyboard, guitar, and accordion. Then we went outside for the fireworks. By now it is after 10:30 and some of the Americans are in great need of meat – they had entirely too much to drink for the novices they are (compared to the Russians). Finally we were served the main course – a goose and suckling pig, which were presented to the reception prior to serving. Meanwhile, even more toasts were made. The meat was very good. Soon however it was almost 11:30 and our drivers were engaged until only midnight, so some of us began to leave. I suspect that was very rude but we had no idea the dinner would last four hours. John and I stayed for the next shift of people to go home (we were sober) and were lucky to see a lovely presentation of the desert – a cheese cake presentation with something like sparklers. Unfortunately we didn't get to try it because we too had to leave.

I am sure this wedding is much fancier that the norm. We have seen several 'receptions' at a restaurant on our street and normally there are about 15 people there, not the 50 at this wedding. The meal was quite extravagant and at an especially nice place. I am sure Ray wanted it to be a very special.

Question of the day:Have you heard if the schools are good?

Basically everyone in Russia can read (pretty much a literate society). School starts with preschool because most women work but it seems like the kids are less regimented at school than are our children. From what I am told, every child starts Primary school (our 1st grade) knowing their numbers, colors, letters, etc. and they can do basic reading. For the first three years kids have 'classes' for only about 3 hours a day and the rest of the time is play time – including arts. As a matter of routine, the children attend museums, plays, concerts. Every time I have been to the Hermitage or the Russian Museum, there have been groups of Russian children – all ages from preschool through college, with a guide being instructed about something. In the middle grades, the school day lasts from about 9 to 3 and then it is even longer for high school. Parents can request their children have early lessons for special things – extra help, a foreign language, music lessons, but I think they pay for those. Families also choose the type of school to send their children – German school concentrates on German language, culture and history; English school concentrates on the same for England or the US. There are schools that specialize in many things: science, military, math, trades, and the arts for example. It is my understanding that much of Europe educates the same way. Children determine early on what they are most interested in and focus on that without compromising literature and language. Now whether or not they are good according to our standards is up for much debate. John will tell you their translators are excellent learners. Their English is very good (why they were hired in the first place). But a couple has admitted to me that they understand very little about math. Since they were concentrating on languages, they didn't really do any math or science in high school. Some are better 'self-starters' than others which is rather foreign to their culture of from Soviet times – do what you are told and do it a specific way. So they seem to be evidence that Russian schooling is good. But one might argue that their ambition is really what makes them good. Nevertheless, the fact the literacy is so high makes me think they do something right. No one I know sends their children to Russian schools. I must say that I don't know that many with kids, but ex-pats I have met , not just the English, Canadians or Americans, sends them to the Anglo-American school at a tuition cost of $20,000 per child per year borne by the companies who have sent the families to St. Petersburg. There is also an International School in town which is just starting since there are more and more foreigners in town. I understand Russians with money often send their children to European boarding schools (as do the rich Europeans).
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